Tuesday, December 26, 2006

[red]wax on concrete

[red]wax on concrete
regret spilled carelessly forward.

alight on branches of sand each passing mandala
feathers .weighted. detached folded around
perfect breath passive &RADIANT
supposing, assuming nothing
yet optimistic.excising remnants scattered
on waterfor optimum dissolution erase from
.memory
[paradigmshift .but not that
chronologies reconstructed to fit delusions.
words dropped on open sores[against wishes
ruined by indecision] erosion fails to make
excuses for its determination/persistence
.fettered with apathy.
along cliffs of rigid ( )
shouldnt be here ]handled lightly& condescendingly
by ocean winds
others have seenthe sun turningbehind
faint lines of horizon &fractured
sold. and paralyzed. fading[ for hands to grasp
solitude[doesnt seem to help]
reward/?actions carelessly involved.
disappear[like the sun is expected]
every gloaming.
every dawn. commited .as returning.

oil wind

oil wine reconsider
bold smoke incandescent reactions tempered by time
begging for solace on worn wooden flooring.
and hesitant. scolded into submission.

bottles stacked into spheres cascading to endless
switching strobe patterns and repression
blood tests....
indifferent results from turned backs are
new discoveries continents driven under and
overgrown despite more acuity] rivers fog

:a body floating face down in a bathtub
mystified at its own inordinant stillness
and perfection in calmness heat dissapating
along with memory skin resurrection
(un)defineable light crosswinds behind trees
as morning begins to breath and the reality
of isolation sinks in(absorbed through membranes
of mistrust) behind cold glasscurtains of self

the air thrusts violently
pushed into open space: open to inevitable sounds
misconstrued and related [to the beginning/end]

Friday, December 08, 2006

sent

[sent along

and breaking away without concern
(for the)
connections expressive hands
silent
phone
diminished
to a sort
of romantic story
lines inconsiderate
delivered on

tides

live
life
fall the on
fading genuine
rites
queer & unusual
abilities to
be newborn
among
receding tides

for

quiet obedient
thinvocal seriousness in some
awareness of gesture
move closer unwelcomed & distracted
coil fruit
blossom on dry ground
to be angry
open doors continue to evolve
into reaction
leathery skin (you)asking
for

into

rotating
into
digression & livery
except i n vague trampled union
overwrought delicatepelvic
structures vagaries
of
change
and uncertiantime for the protector
of fidelities

device

blank
blank
blank
(or(ganic spatial reveries
think during penetration speak of(love
but not meaning (an) if to
receive the issue

.thematic variation.

die on the bed of .device.
ignorance
choice

sullen

lefthanded visionaries meet among
sullen
never been there (golden)
nothing
words to analyze
the softness of reluctant & specific
purple missteps

but wishing you werehere tofight
wars
calloused (minds)fingers pressing
skin into submission
slowly with the patience of
northern(brevity memory transition

for

spring awaits cold
for apparent mysteries

for
for
forwanting
voyages into concern
receiving vague signals
forgetforget
unfinished
states shedding skin
soft warm lips
of death
accrue wealth by default.

unfinished basements
54 degrees
sentient foreswear

Monday, December 04, 2006

e(i)ther spg

says'havent found courage'
etymologiesgamble on socratic forums
presumptionsactualized into more orless
vacancy thinsheets of ice

adjusting mocking(ly)
fundamental headresting sidelong
on perimeters of disgust
open purple wound hangs behind
suspended on wall
vocalizing concealed ordinance
permission

somnambulist drunk forestall
these inventions most apparentdestinies
rotate time backwards
fordoes not believe this farce

e(i)ther

and so waitspatiently for master

solace 2.0 spg

once solace victim proximity
of ordinary penance
scolded intoabdomen variations
submission for to rationalize fears
with & suddenly into fortunesmisspent
oneasy experience
repeat
repeat
repeat

extractionspg

voice(less)
death(less)
prophets sullen
words wornsmooth
by acidic waters.

extracted
for(ever) until begins anew
(neverdoesdear)x
listlessrecordings scratched on earlyforeheadskin

b e g g i ng
(like sunshine
forluminous blooms)

f oil
dealinginabstract(ions)
advantageous orbits sweep close
through tornfabrics

leafing
demarcations repentingat least
some notification ofsyndicate glory(hole)
structureson walls
inconsequential and remote
(absence)
whereshall i sleeptonight
recklessscarlet flowering derangement
on and for,because
herobvious
reluctanceon the question's
brevity(ness)

fixtures spg

spoken[muse]
feignedthrough glass
inconvenience
bravely[facilitated]
will[ingness]
or
fixtures
shaken
from
& to insomniactruths

couches spg

remove
ourdisparate (creations)
movingrelated
placid
on deep&hiddensurface
couches
drafts of air
imitations)ordering)
substandardadvancing
relative to spires erected fordeparted
thoughts

Thursday, November 30, 2006

ether I

continent
driftawake awayorigins discontent with reflection
sselves bend with light the fractured
driftmove slowly smoke retrace line again
move back through tangents of peace discord

inexorable beginnings meanings pull through
threads of thought misconstrued ends
the thought begins again again
sent on through passages of pointless endless time
stopping for a moment to reflect
on ripplesof misplaced influence lifted and held still to the wind
so many voices displaced migrated into discord
lined quantified qualified sullen search
criteriathe sighted eye, the blankness of the knowing
the unwanted untamed wisdom fragmenting the days with uncertainty
the anxiety of the omnipresent uncertainty
the nothingness of eastern dreams
is elusivein sands of random connections.
and drifting.

Absolution

Writhe
wicked saint I speak of
Mercurial spirits tainted with thechill of death

We go down tangents
go down slowlylattices build to a crescendo
choke constrict on the insomia

Shelays next to me
could go at any second but don't tremble
to signifyintimacyyearning
the unnecessary scramble towards the contracting cremaster testicals lifting
Orgasm means little death
the death rattle
the last move is hers
he will follow devoutlyunconcerned with anything
but saving nothing
the sage is the smell of vaginal fluid
wear it like a perfume
all the words in all the books lost in the one moment
nodes of existence breath slowly
wake wake shes not awake
i am not awake and yet I cannot sleep

He called her a whore on the fphhone
jealousy will do that to a young mandebiliated by desire
to the point of cold sweats in the night
rolling off clouds of steel coated words
concealed in mild disdain(oh the added emphasis)

The heatiscold air moist like gothic night
goldages forgotten appeals to beauty and all its decadence
the greathealing voice of god speaks from behind the screen
thousand points ofmystery
on the thin calibrated mass produced states of meaningless time
wastedon mediated hyperreality

vigil










halfway vigil
facilities
fecal
fingers trace moments spare voice

barren sky
obscured by warranted deference
practicality
the ruse of loyaltyignitesfluidwaitwait

position i the mind ongentlesky
obsolete of breath
populated with mannered states
and vacant eyes

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

shore

I

stores of reservation depleted
excessescarved in broken stone
sinking
in shallow thoughts
tidal pools born of sullen vice
on primitive earth
the hidden foundation of granite
pressedfirmunder the lost
soil of abandoned gardens

II

each one pullingtides &baptized
with the wisdom of a rivers sediment
washed into expansive seas

III

soilfermented
cultivated reason/natural discord
of landbound years spent
watchingwaves ripple
& shudder
against unimpeachable shores
worn away, refortified

eager rituals under solemn brow
sands passage
spoiling spawning
bruised sunsets & quiet voices

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

whenever i sit i want to sleep

the long incoherent days of sleepwalking
in & out
waking suddenly at the futility when it strikes
stinging like a stilletto woundsoftly praying
for the coagulationof meaning
but it never moves towardsresolutionfollow it like a current
words failingfallingolden
failingsshe stands over him,
light notatingvinyl with lines unsheathed satyrs abysmal
the velvet ropefailing
the injury failing
to healdead grounded ungrounded
reminded by those little circumstances
going unnoticed until they build wallsaroundsacred territory
god knows the pretense
god so lostto the weeping holy virgin a shoedifferent on each foot
Cinderella never found by her prince
dropped the glass slipper cutherwrist as it slipped from the grip
nothing ends wellturning away denial
the animals stare in rapt funeral amazement
again the funeral never came but the days do
eachone faced like an alcoholic faces addiction
one mroere time to get it rightone more time to get it right
but the y pass faster faster
The carriage never came Disney was a freemasonsacred hidden ritualthe treatments hallucinations

war
abuse
fakery
resolution
fornicationrecreationconfession

you just waitthe bell rings
the king goes mad drops his wweapons
the dog salivates
the moon shifts to black as it will do
the jews light candles write the name of god with scratches on her back
crescentmoons with bitemarks at least the dental records are available
this astrology forced upon me marks changing seasons
harvesting nothing in return for nothing

I sit & again the futility never comes
The sleep never comes
She never comes

ether continent

Ether Continent

I
Absurdity provokes the highest response. Somehow it creates a detachment for an innermost certainty about things to some exterior event that becomes put in motion by a gathering of circumstance. The point of detachment becomes the ruse as a sort of ‘absurdist tolerence’ arises to compensate for the lack of mental control function when given to an irrational situation. Why then the necessity for these situations as they generate such a high degree of emotional and physical distress? Suppose these events whether self inflicted or random are the markers for systemic radical change both into the nature and substance of interaction. Interaction in the sense of some shifting of boundaries in a social sphere in the direction of inverse and external motivations.

II
Entropy, the agitate state of conflict assumes the struggle of a return to some new unforeseen stability. Psychic restructuring then becomes a process of conflict creation and renewal- the renewal being ever more enchanting because of the wave of certainty and relief it brings.

There is a tight and distinguishable ordering of the active and passive roles in psychological change. General dynamic system rules do apply where the opposite and the negative join in some magnetic dance with the similar and positive. That is not to say one is necessarily bad, but only different. Each new combination generates more possibilities plus a disintegration of combination boundaries or an expansion of potential choices as opposed to the immediate and apparent possibilities. This expansion somewhat dissolves the philosophical dialectic because it suggests an anthropomorphic approach where more than a binary duality exists. The nature of the worldview view shifts from a singular myopic vision to one of expansiveness. But care must be taken not to develop and outlook of cynicism or the notion that systems behave in a predictable fashion. Systems operate on the same quantum laws of self creation- the optimal result as determined by the instigator. Cynicism can only limit outcome to those negative results predicted ahead of time.

III

One must acknowledge this untoward glance. Or is it solitude that they want more than anything. Drops of blood on the cosmic web. Dark matter floating in the room like the smell of bodies.

IV

Only one more day. Keep repeating like the hum of a motor. A servo turning spinning on overdrive, wheels on the road. These shrouds pulled back. Awake see everything happening at once. How do you look at people the same again” anyone. It’s all there written on the face.

Post hypnotic state trance time brevity of a night. The pressure intensifies everyone disbands. How to resolve the new reality into some clear mental state. But it is the truth. What everyone conceals from the other and what drives subculture movements into mass consciousness. The delicate balance of repression and excess.

The fascination with either repression or excess moves the cultural balance on a pendulum swing.

From one to the other. But each coexists simultaneously.
Cultural movement
Underground
How long has this been a viable alternative?
Why has the alternative become necessity?
What percentage of the population is interested in such pursuits?
Do psychological mutations manifest in the same way as genetic mutations?
Does the fact that America is not wholly an imperialist society prevent it from collapse?
Why is it that the repressive doctrinarians are the imperialists?

VI

Selection / motivation / reaction--- components of actualization

Actualization / reduction / revision---- state change (manifestation)

Manifestation / integration / probabilities---beginning of circular mutation cycle where probabilities incur branch chain motivations.

The ‘multiplicity of probabilities’ leads to random similarities and to other probabilities which reflect back to prior manifestations and integrations of psychic change. The repetition of probability sets leads to a sort of macro level manifestation which encompasses unifies prior circular psychic occurrences. This is the foundation of a relational structure used for future assessment of the viability and necessity of new manifestation/ integration/ probability cycles.

VII

Ether floated inches above water which was slightly rippled from a soft wind. Wavelengths and the results of variety formed patterns and reflected her disjointed, mutating, splitting, and finally fragmented.

Two fragmented selves-- polarities .
Giving away, passive as a controlling mechanism- stabilizer/equalizing balance.
Active / passive---neutrality

VIII

Roles played, theater.
Repeated. Duplications of consciousness. Organic inquiry.
Where comes resolution? Does repetition create consciousness? Repetition of similar circumstances yields alternative solutions- alternative solutions move towards control. Evolution—progress—purification..

IX
Triadic=conflict
Primary pair+interference element (triadic conflict point)
Triadic conflict point isolated as control variable for empirical process development.
Quadratic=neutrality, cancellation

Selection criteria
Nonlinear supposition
Point distance
Duality weight
How does weighted duality function as both opposition & attractor?
Time signature
Sequencing of communication cues & movements.

X

The ingratiated hustler sat with her ass stuck to the stool vinyl at a dry bar haunted by the ghost spawn of a sailors mistake made in an oriental flophouse circa 1975.
‘sold it for what?’ the hustler rasped through a profound distaste. It was her diseased disinterest that shocked Ether. The evidence of betrayal written like brail on the swollen pores of her face.
‘it’s not the only thing going’ ether responded, slightly mystified at the hustlers bemused smoke piling out into the open air. But in the end it was really nothing.
‘don’t fuck with me’ the hustler said as she twisted slightly to disengage.
‘the point is that we really have no conjecture for the sad state of things. Ordinarily protocol demands such responses both cash and otherwise for appropriate fecal dances, but if you are willing to engage the charade and lay prone for the time being, things will tend to work themselves out in a rather random progression.’
‘what a fucking treat that was.’ (The bar ghost) ‘Just a minute ago i was flying through space all scattered and blistered with the acid of each staring hardup that walks up to the bar. Still you don’t have any idea about protocol. You haven’t been ordained.’
Ether shuddered, feeling rather flippant for even remotely considering an engagement with the micro orgy currently flashing across her synaptic soup.

XI
To most it wasn’t an improvement. Get washed out by the attrition factor in the alignment of psychological stress due to change management-- and implied cost reductions in labor become evident. Best to not work.

12
Actuation simulacra
Voyages sitting. Fallen rocks who initially baited then switched. Points started to emerge after the fact but offered no consolation.
Focal areas expanded and contracted as ornamental positions evolved in a predisposed organic order. Predictable systems combined to form unique iterations indistinguishable from the original variants.

Carcass flayed on an open field of Astroturf meticulously prepared. Cut, spread and organized on a polar quadrant system. The field, a perfect square, lined with walls covered in a lime plastic upholstery (for easy cleaning) Bitter halogen lamps spotlighted the various organs which were arranged according to biological function and subdivided by process. Each set connected with a ribbon of vein. Next to each grouping, propped vertically by a thin section of cartilage, was a card written in latin and describing the groups function within the overall system.

13

Ordinarily ether would not have been bothered by the nights chain of events had it not been for false pretense.

Some rooms had been illuminated to reveal the inner motivations of the participants. Needless, as everything moved forward on a carefully planned linear sequence. All possible variations had been scrutinized and quantified as part of the mechanics of the situation. Options were put in place to give the illusion of self-determination.

13a

Fiber optic embryonic discharge in a chlorinated bath for the culture of unknown origin. Effects realized played out on speakers vibrating the thin noises of disputable cultures too sentimental to be taken seriously. 102 degrees plus or minus.

Engram reuptake inhibitor.

14
Ordered state disaster- relational algebra

Evidence did suggest some occurrence as the four undressed and situated themselves on the bed in chronological order. C began a discussion of breasts with a as if a complimentary introduction to the event was of primary importance. A and C knee to knee on the bed. D moving in position to remove A from the petulant show of augmentation.
Divide and conquer.

C laid her head on the starched hotel pillow. Commented how D must always have porn on the monitor. As if the mimetic function and indicators flashing through the cathodes added energy to the experience. Tangible light described life’s scars in various ways on her skin. She was willing in a dull soft way. She seemed relaxed in a passive stupor and blinded to what was unfolding next to her.
A and D wrestled quietly on the other side of the bed. Even then Ether wanted to stop and watch the show. She knew how A had given so much mental airtime to a most peculiar obsession about D. Washing his hands repeatedly, Pontius Pilot looked as forlorn as did Ether to the sacrifice. But knowing the end would surely come about and be repeated as finitely as days passing toward death gave some reassurance.

A plane of incandescent lights glittered through the window, the building itself rather phallic in its shape. Cylindrical. Glass. Renovated to espouse a more vague and unsophisticated contemporary flair. Nonsense. Yet Ether reveled in such distractions as an addition to the already indifferent surreal nature of her involvement in the process.

Reluctantly sense and propriety were allowed to prevail and Ether continued the order of business ahead.

Ether rolled slowly to the edge of the bed and moved into the air.
The wings of Icarus moved in vain, the pull of gravity was irresistible. Ether considered her decision meticulously. Someone had told her to begin screaming at this subtle provocation. Safe words had no effect. Everything was in place and the air was too thick to draw into her lungs. The colored fibers of the bedding intersected with binary efficiency and solutions to former problems crystallized as her focal point glided down towards the immediate solution. A mindless formation of memory sped past at increasing speed as she considered the fortuitous meeting that resulted in the present lapse of consciousness.
Each one seemed more pungent than the last but only because predictability increased. Often Ether wished for a substitution of her own consciousness with another more radical and different approach. There would be no doubt as to the ordinance of mental states—shifting into placid fluidity. Moving rippling like gelatin. The thought of supplanting consciousness made her shiver and become rigid as she landed deliberately on the floor. Skin spreading distended one part of her body at a time relinquishing control to the polyester carpeting. The next. Until her head rolled into silence. The physics of impact complete.

What struck ether most clearly was the lack of any sound, which alone was deafening. The impulse to move was still a latent biochemical reaction. Solutions. Domestic sabotage occupied the occipital lobe. Computational mechanisms. Movement was a vacuum state.

15

Snakes floated in the air. Vigilant, waiting for nothing in particular as snakes often do. Nausea overtook ether’s awareness. Painful convulsions sprayed gastric fluid like blood from a severed artery, splattering various bodies and limbs.
The gentle rocking was distant at first. Constant. Awaiting the reprise, the hands released. Ether stumbled forward, attempting to catch herself on several vomit drenched bodies.
An acid light illuminated the hallway like a tanning bed.
A force pulled ether, feet sliding on the ground, particles of grit scraping progress to a room of empty school desks. Open binder with pages of equations. Shapes and numbers dissolved into physical patterns indicating potential tangential histories futures and present time variants.

Ether slid off a body and struck the floor. The room mutated with disturbed hornets. Activity and sound.

Again, Ether fell into the sheer white fabric covering the doorway, rolled onto a changing language wrapped in her own tapestry of pathos. A corpse floating above the funeral pyre. Gas flames engendered with the mock atmosphere of a reconfigured restaurant. Vague memories burned with a quiet hiss. Ether resolved movement with a positive systems check for breathing and heart rate.

Anointed with body fluids they moved discreetly past to avoid association. Ether was frozen with grief and the known trajectory.
Snow fell like ashes from an eruption and settled floating randomly on her breath as she walked. The procession led from an open car door in an archaic landscape. Heredity victimized in a place of ritual worship. Genetic similarities force proximity. The fog emphasized the ancient nature of the endeavor and somehow provoked the certainty of her lineage. Architecture responded in time with need and utilitarian formality. Depression angles rejected the confluence of embryos floating in their own dire repression. The room formed a circle around nothing—yet it had a profound significance as she traversed the stone border. Post and lentil doorways opened along the wall.

Disassociative syndrome.
Parallel nomadic structures.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

compression of time

with the rejection of heuristic interdependence--or the karmic action of cause & effect--a compression of time occurs.

the release of a heuristic determination of the outcome of an action is negated--the result is not deemed critical in the selection of the action.

heuristic interdependence suggests a circular & repetitive structure--and bounded by a known criteria established by past cause & effect.

non-heuristic interdependence does lend itself to a nonlinear approach.
with a release from the need for known outcomes the potential for unexpected growth tangents emerges.

Heuristic interdependence

In psychology, heuristics are simple, efficient rules, hard-coded by evolutionary processes which have been proposed to explain how people make decisions, come to judgments, and solve problems, typically when facing complex problems or incomplete information. These rules work well under most circumstances, but in certain cases lead to systematic cognitive biases.

Cognative biases

Anchoring and adjustment is a psychological heuristic said to influence the way people assess probabilities intuitively. According to this heuristic, people start with an implicitly suggested reference point (the "anchor") and make adjustments to it to reach their estimate.
For instance, when asked to guess the percentage of African nations which are members of the United Nations, people who were first asked "Was it more or less than 45%?" guessed lower values than those who had been asked if it was more or less than 65%.

The availability heuristic is a rule of thumb, heuristic, or cognitive bias, where people base their prediction of an outcome on the vividness and emotional impact rather than on actual probability.
One important corollary finding to this heuristic is that people asked to imagine an outcome tend to immediately view it as more likely than people that were not asked to imagine the specific outcome.


interdependence

dependent origination.

This is the understanding that any phenomenon ‘exists’ only because of the ‘existence’ of other phenomena in an incredibly complex web of cause and effect covering time past, time present and time future.

• Suffering [of the rounds of rebirth]
• Faith
• Gladness
• Rapture
• Tranquillity
• Happiness
• Concentration
• Knowledge and vision of things as they really are
• Revulsion
• Dispassion
• Liberation
• Knowledge of destruction of the poisons


It is possible to do yogic practice while dreaming. In this way the yogi can have a very strong experience and with this comes understanding of the dream-like nature of daily life. This is also very relevant to diminishing attachments, because they are based on strong beliefs that life's perceptions such as objects are real and as a consequence: important. If one really understands what Buddha Shakyamuni meant when he said that everything is unreal, then one can diminish attachments and tensions.

The teacher advises that the realization that life is only a big dream can help us finally liberate ourselves from the chains of various emotions, different kinds of attachment and the chains of ego. Then we have the possibility of ultimately becoming enlightened.